The Day Before Surgery

No Diet Cokes. I haven't had any since Sunday night. I had a small headache last night at dinner. So far, so good. I tried to eat mostly liquids yesterday. It wasn't bad, but I departed from the menu to eat the last of the cookies in the house and the shrimp on my husband's plate. The shrimp was tough, not satisfying at all. I am drinking a Carnation Instant Breakfast right now - with added non-fat dry milk, ice cubes, and a banana. The banana was added after I decided that I didn't like the taste of 1% milk plus dry milk. On the otherhand, I did LOVE the double milk with the Jello Sugar-Free Vanilla Pudding Single yesterday. That was yummy! My veggie soup turned out very well, it's very orange.

Today, I am going to spend some time with Marie, then go to psycho-therapy, then meet Diane at the Music Rack. I don't know what I am supposed to discussing with Diane. I know what I want to discuss with my psych though.

On a random note, we came home last night to discover one of the cats had pooped on the bed - somebody has the squirts. That's the problem with having 2 cats - when one of them has a problem, it is hard to figure out who it is.

So, my rant today is from last night's dinner with our family - rather Steve's parents, his sister and her husband. But let me back up....Steve is very concerned about a couple of things with this surgery 1. what pastor will pray over me before surgery or what pastor should he call in case something happens 2. who is going to visit me in the hospital. Well, the surgery takes an hour and is minimally invasive, so I don't think I need prayer from a pastor before I go in. I denied the clergy in my room - not b/c I am anti-clergy. I just don't want some random minister walking in my room - I've seen those guys in action, it is not effective. But truly, this is an experience that Steve and I have never been through together, so we have brand new topics of conversation that go with it. Honestly, I never thought about have a minister visit me b/c I didn't think it was needed. Then to discuss the minister of my choice in the event of a fatality - well, that was new one, too. Then we move on to who will visit me....well, I am not taking out a billboard to announce my hospital stay. There's a 50/50 chance that I will go home the day of the surgery, so I don't want to tell too many people that I am going to be in the hospital if I end up going home the same day. Sure, I'd love some visitors, but I don't want to have to invite them, I think they should come on their own accord.

Which brings me to my rant....as if the last paragraph wasn't enough...Steve's parents said that they were coming up on Wednesday morning during my surgery to sit with Steve. They said that several times. After the 2nd or 3rd time, I thought to myself, "So, you're not coming to be there during my surgery, you're coming to sit with your son for moral support. It's indirect support. I get it. He's afraid of hospitals, so you are going to come sit with him like he is 5 yo. He is 36 yo, he goes to the doctor by himself, he gets bloodwork done by himself, he even took himself to the ER when he had a boil on his face, and he took himself to the doctor when the problem came back. He is capable of getting through medical procedures on his own. But please, do come and sit with him to support him, not me. I guess this is what I get for not having my mother in my life. Since it my choice (and healthy decision) not to tell her about the surgery, then what I get is the parental figures in my life who don't really want to be my parental figures. They want to make it clear that they are not my parents - they are my husband's parents. I don't think of them as my parents, but they are people who are parents and pretty good ones, so they are good role models for me. Plus, they belong to my husband, so I have a kindred relationship to them. But ya know, it's okay, come sit with your son during my surgery. I'll be fine."

I wish in-laws everywhere had a universal understanding of how much easier it could be if they simply embraced the idea of inclusion.